How fathers, children should spend time together
Study dives into factors that could help develop a stronger relationship
June 11, 2019
Science Daily/University of Georgia
Fathers who spend lots of time helping out with child care-related tasks on workdays are developing the best relationships with their children.
As men everywhere brace for an onslaught of ties, tools, wallets and novelty socks gifted for Father's Day, here are two questions fathers of young children should ask themselves: What activities are best for bonding with my child, and when should those activities take place?
New research from the University of Georgia reveals that both the type of involvement -- caregiving versus play -- and the timing -- workday versus non-workday -- have an impact on the quality of the early father-child relationship.
The study by Geoffrey Brown, published in the Journal of Family Psychology, reveals that fathers who choose to spend time with their children on non-workdays are developing a stronger relationship with them, and play activities seem particularly important, even after taking into account the quality of fathers' parenting.
"Fathers who make the choice to devote their time on non-workdays to engaging with their children directly seem to be developing the best relationships," said Brown, assistant professor in the UGA College of Family and Consumer Sciences. "And on those non-workdays, pursuing activities that are child centered, or fun for the child, seems to be the best predictor of a good father-child relationship."
However, fathers who spend lots of time helping out with child care-related tasks on workdays are developing the best relationships with their children. And men who engage in high levels of play with their children on workdays actually have a slightly less secure attachment relationship with them.
"It's a complicated story, but I think this reflects differences in these contexts of family interaction time on workdays versus non-workdays," Brown said. "The most important thing on a workday, from the perspective of building a good relationship with your children, seems to be helping to take care of them."
In early childhood, the most common way to conceptualize the parent-child relationship is the attachment relationship, according to Brown. Children form an emotional bond with their caregivers, and it serves a purpose by keeping them safe, providing comfort and security, and modeling how relationships should work.
Decades of research have focused on mother-child attachment security, but there's much less research on the father-child relationship and how a secure attachment relationship is formed.
For this study, Brown and his colleagues worked with 80 father-child pairs when the children were about 3 years old. The team conducted interviews and observed father-child interaction in the home, shooting video that was evaluated off site and assigned a score indicating attachment security.
"We're trying to understand the connection between work life and family life and how fathers construct their role. It's clear that there are different contexts of family time," Brown said. "Relying too much on play during workdays, when your child/partner needs you to help out with caregiving, could be problematic. But play seems more important when there's more time and less pressure.
"Ultimately, fathers who engage in a variety of parenting behaviors and adjust their parenting to suit the demands and circumstances of each individual day are probably most likely to develop secure relationships with their children."
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190611133938.htm
Today's dads are engaging more with their kids
Fatherhood norms shifting alongside masculinity
June 12, 2018
Science Daily/Brigham Young University
Whether it's physically being there for a baseball game or piano recital, or emotionally being there to provide warmth or support in a tough time, there appears to be a shift in how fathers are viewing their roles.
Sociologists at BYU and Ball State have found that a majority of fathers today are relatively involved in their children's lives.
Whether it's physically being there for a baseball game or piano recital, or emotionally being there to provide warmth or support in a tough time, there appears to be a shift in how fathers are viewing their roles.
"We found that today's dads spend more time, provide more care and are more loving toward their kids than ever before," said Kevin Shafer, BYU sociology professor and a co-author of the study. "Most dads see themselves as playing an equally important role in helping their children as mothers do. At the same time, however, there is a group of dads who believe they are to be breadwinners, disciplinarians and nothing more."
The study also showed a correlation between fathers who exhibit negative aspects of traditional masculinity and fathers who are less involved with their children.
"It's important to understand what masculinity is and is not," Shafer said. "In some circles, when people hear terms like hegemonic or toxic masculinity, they think those are attacking all men. Not so. There are some very beneficial aspects of masculinity -- being goal-oriented or being loyal, for example. However, we are talking about more problematic aspects of masculinity -- like aggression, detached relationships, not showing emotion and failing to ask for help. These are negative aspects of traditional masculinity, and our research suggests it hurts families."
Shafer believes this new research has provided a better, broader examination of masculinity and fatherhood than in previous studies.
The study is published in the Journal of Marriage and Family and used data on 2,194 fathers from a national study on fathers of children ages 2 through 18.
The researchers assessed fathers' perceptions of negative masculine behaviors by evaluating responses to a variety of statements, such as "It is essential for the child's well?being that fathers spend time interacting and playing with their children" and "It is difficult for men to express warm and tender affectionate feelings toward children."
The results from the responses showed, on average:
· Fathers of younger children engaged with them several times a week
· Fathers of older children engaged with their child between once and several times a week and knew a lot about their child's activities
· Fathers of younger and older children only sometimes engaged in harsh discipline
· Fathers of younger children stated that warm behaviors toward their child are "very much like me"
· Fathers of older children acted warm toward their child between often and always
· Finally, fathers of older children also generally agreed that their child turns to them for emotional support
Previous research indicates that many fathers struggle with the balance of adhering to masculine norms while still being more emotionally available and nurturing toward their children. This has been more of a trend as of late, but not something drastically new. Sociologists have noted that over the past several decades, fatherhood ideals have continued to change due to shifting paternal expectations and behaviors.
"Fathers continue to navigate changing social expectations," said Lee Essig, another co-author of the study and BYU graduate student. "As current social trends are pushing for men's increased familial involvement, we see more fathers stepping up to engage more actively in their children's lives in various ways. As we teach boys and men to be more emotionally aware and cultivate emotional well-being, these men and boys will be able to become better fathers for their children, as they will be able to provide for them not only through financial contributions, but by being emotionally and mentally present for their children and their wellbeing."
Based on the study, the researchers provide the following reminders to fathers:
It's OK to show and feel your feelings. Doing so will help you be a better, more involved and engaged father.
· Be an example. Children learn by example and demonstrating beliefs and attitudes that are supportive not only benefit the father-child relationship, but they also teach children positive behaviors.
· There are many ways to be a man -- being a "tough guy" is associated with poor parenting, which can negatively affect children.
· Fathers should not be afraid of being nurturing, caring and hands-on. Children and families all benefit when they do.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/06/180612185124.htm